why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
