i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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