As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I love you. Go after that dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
