So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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