It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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