I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
