he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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