The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
