Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He better not be in your backpack
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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