I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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