Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this will be a night to untag.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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