I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
