We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
As shirtless as possible
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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