My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
