im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize