Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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