So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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