ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
