We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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