I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
