Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She even gives head with a lisp.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
