that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
