i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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