Pants 0. Shit 1.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
