Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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