Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize