I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
