You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
