HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
