I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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