what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
