A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
