you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize