Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

(208): View more from Idaho

ha well at least you have goals.

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(707): View more from California

According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

(253): View more from Washington

You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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(630): View more from Illinois

As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

So I WAS right.

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(260): View more from Indiana

You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...

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