Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
