I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
