yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
