Jerry, you need to find god
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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