i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
