Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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