We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
