my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
