Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
