when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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