Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
