I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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