Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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