I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize