No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
