I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he fucked my hip out of place.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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