Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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