a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You need a sexual gate keeper
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
