Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
