i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
