White coat. Heels.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
