she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
